RECALIBRATE™: for When Motherhood Feels Like Your First Failure

Let's be brutally honest: motherhood might be the first thing in your life you feel like you're constantly screwing up.

You're drowning. And no one sees it but you.

Remember when you used to nail everything? School. Career. Relationships. Life in general.

Then you had kids and suddenly you're going to bed every night with that gnawing feeling in your gut – the one that whispers, "You're not enough. Not patient enough. Not present enough. Not organized enough. Just. Not. Enough."

Let me cut through the BS right now: You're not failing at motherhood. Your measuring system is broken.

Look, I don't need to sugarcoat this. I've been exactly where you are…

You've tried it all, haven't you? Read every book. Optimized every routine. Researched every approach until your eyes bled. You're working harder than you've ever worked in your life, and you're still going to bed feeling like you failed. Again.

Here's the raw truth no one's had the guts to tell you: The same drive and perfectionism that made you successful in everything else is actively sabotaging your experience of motherhood.

Before kids, life was beautifully predictable:

Effort + Skill + Time = Success


But motherhood laughs in the face of that equation:

Effort + Skill + Time = ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


The kid who slept perfectly yesterday? Screaming every hour tonight. The approach that worked beautifully last week? Total disaster today. That technique every expert swears by? Completely useless for your particular child.

It's not just hard – it's maddening. For the first time in your life, your tried-and-true formula for success is giving you nothing but false readings.

This isn't your fault. But it is something you can change.

RECALIBRATE™ isn't about lowering your standards or settling for mediocrity. Not a chance. It's about finding the right standards – ones based in reality instead of some Instagram-perfect fantasy of motherhood that literally no one is achieving.

Through this 8-week program, you'll:

  • Recognize™ the unconscious standards that are crushing your soul daily

  • Rebel™ against the impossible expectations that were complete BS to begin with

  • Rewrite™ what success actually looks like based on what matters to YOU

  • Run™ with your new perspective, finally experiencing motherhood without the constant self-flagellation

Same children. Same you. Completely different experience.

Are you ready to stop feeling like you're drowning?

Are You The Right Fit?

Discover If RECALIBRATE™ Is Your Next Best Step

You became a mother expecting to feel fulfilled, confident, maybe even joyful. Instead, you're questioning every decision, comparing yourself to everyone else, and wondering when the hell this is going to get easier.

Balancing your perfectionism, career, and family feels impossible. Some days it's a victory just to keep everyone alive.

As a mother, you're expected to be everything to everyone: nurturer, teacher, chef, cleaner, emotional support, career woman, partner – and to make it all look effortless on social media. Meanwhile, you're hiding in the bathroom just to get three minutes of peace. It's no wonder you're completely knackered and feeling like a fraud.

Let's stop this madness.

Imagine making decisions about your child without that voice in your head second-guessing every damn thing. Imagine going to bed without mentally cataloging all the ways you failed today. Imagine actually enjoying your children instead of constantly evaluating your performance.

HERE'S A QUESTION NO ONE ELSE IS ASKING YOU...

What if all that energy you're pouring into trying to be the perfect mother could be redirected into actually connecting with your children?

Sounds impossible, right?

It's not. I've done it. Hundreds of women I've worked with have done it.

Let me get real with you.

When society sets you up to fail with impossible standards, you have two choices: keep suffering or create your own definition of success.

I chose to call total BS on the whole perfect mother narrative after I found myself sobbing in my car because I'd forgotten to bring a homemade treat to my child's school event. (Yes, seriously. That was my breaking point.)

Success in motherhood isn't about checking every box perfectly.

It's about being present enough to actually see your children instead of seeing reflections of your performance. It's about making decisions with confidence instead of doubt. It's about finding genuine moments of joy amid the chaos instead of constantly feeling like you're failing.

Recalibrating my expectations completely transformed my experience of motherhood, even though nothing external changed. Same kids. Same challenges. Different me.

This revelation led me to create...

RECALIBRATE™: The freedom to mother your way

Imagine

What it would feel like to wake up tomorrow without that constant heaviness in your chest – that feeling that you're already behind before the day even starts.

RECALIBRATE™ isn't just another program to add to your mental load. It's permission to put down the crushing weight of perfectionism you've been carrying.

Imagine catching yourself when you start spiraling into self-criticism and actually having the tools to pull yourself out. Imagine making a parenting decision and standing by it, without the hours of second-guessing that follow now.

This approach doesn't just make you feel better temporarily; it gives you back the mental bandwidth you're currently wasting on self-criticism and comparison.

Time to breathe. Time to actually see your child's face instead of mentally listing all the ways you should be doing better. Time to make a proper decision without researching it to death first.

Transform your experience.

As you stop treating motherhood like a performance to be evaluated, your relationship with your children transforms too.

They get a mother who's actually present rather than perfect. A mother who models self-compassion instead of self-criticism. A mother who shows them that worth isn't measured by flawless performance.

Kids don't need perfect mothers. They need real ones.

Your transformation creates a ripple effect, breaking cycles of perfectionism that might otherwise continue for generations.

Recalibration isn't just a nice-to-have. For high-achieving women drowning in maternal guilt, it's absolutely essential.

Sound too good to be true?

It's not.

I’ve lived it, and guided countless women just like you through the very same transformation.

With RECALIBRATE™, you're not just getting another program to add to your never-ending to-do list. You're getting a complete reset – a way out of the perfectionism trap that's stealing your joy.

WHY ME?

  • Becky Selbie - Founder

    I'm Becky Selbie, and I've been exactly where you are.

    I remember standing in my kitchen at 3 AM, crying over spilled breast milk (literally) and thinking, "I was good at everything before this. Why am I failing so spectacularly at the thing that matters most?"

    The truth? I wasn't failing. I was using completely wrong criteria to judge my success.

    After transforming my own relationship with motherhood, I've spent years helping high-achieving women do the same. Women just like you – smart, capable, accomplished – who find themselves completely blindsided by how motherhood makes them feel.

    I bring both professional expertise as a maternal mental health specialist and raw personal experience to this work. I don't speak from some perfect motherhood pedestal. I speak as someone who's walked through the fire and found a way to mother that doesn't require constant self-sacrifice and self-criticism.

    What makes RECALIBRATE™ different is that I won't just tell you to "be easier on yourself" (useless advice for perfectionists, am I right?). Instead, I'll give you a structured framework to understand why you're struggling and specific tools to recalibrate your expectations.

    Together, we'll dig into the unconscious rulebook you're following and rewrite it based on what actually matters – not what society, your mother-in-law, or Instagram tells you should matter.

RECALIBRATE™ vs. Other Approaches

  • Let's be real about what else is out there

    Other programmes:

    Offer more parenting techniques (because clearly what you need is another thing to perfect, right?)

    Focus on changing your children's behavior rather than your internal experience

    Provide generic advice that ignores the unique challenges of perfectionist mothers

    Suggest meditation and self-care without addressing why those feel impossible for you

    Tell you to "just relax" (if one more person tells you to "enjoy every moment," you might scream)

  • RECALIBRATE™:

    Gets to the actual root of your struggle – your internal measuring system

    Provides a structured approach to identifying and challenging your unconscious expectations

    Creates a safe space with other high-achieving women who completely get your specific struggle

    Acknowledges the messy reality instead of offering platitudes about motherhood bliss

    Gives you practical tools for real life, not idealistic scenarios that never happen

  • This isn't about becoming a different kind of mother. It's about experiencing motherhood differently.

Here's exactly how RECALIBRATE™ transforms your experience:

Phase 1: RECOGNIZE™

Let's get brutally honest about the unconscious standards crushing your confidence daily:

  • Identify the exact perfectionist patterns sabotaging your motherhood experience

  • Uncover the impossible rulebook you're unconsciously following

  • Understand why the success formula that worked in every other area of life backfires in motherhood

  • Learn to spot when you're using the wrong measuring stick in real-time

Phase 2: REBEL™

It's time to call BS on expectations that were never based in reality:

  • Challenge the "perfect mother" narrative you've internalized

  • Identify which standards actually matter to YOU versus which ones were inherited

  • Distinguish between values-based standards and perfectionist demands

  • Practice talking back to your inner critic with evidence, not just positive thinking

Phase 3: REWRITE™

Create your own definition of maternal success:

  • Develop clear criteria for what "good enough" mothering actually means for YOUR family

  • Establish realistic expectations based on the reality of your life, not some fantasy version

  • Design simple daily practices that reinforce your new perspective

  • Create personalized "permission slips" for the specific areas where perfectionism hits hardest

Phase 4: RUN™

Put your recalibrated system into action:

  • Make decisions with confidence instead of constant second-guessing

  • Navigate difficult moments without spiraling into self-criticism

  • Experience genuine presence with your children instead of constant self-evaluation

  • Build lasting resilience against perfectionist backlashes

This isn't fluffy theory. It's a concrete roadmap to transform how you experience motherhood at the deepest level.

  • What You'll Get When You Join RECALIBRATE™

    Join RECALIBRATE™, launching on [Launch Date], and receive:

  • Bite-sized Weekly Content:

    15-minute video modules released weekly – because I know you don't have time for hours of content. Direct, practical, no fluff.

  • The RECALIBRATE™ Toolkit:

    Concrete exercises, reference guides for tough moments, and implementation tools to apply what you're learning in real life.

  • WEEKLY GROUP COACHING

    Connect with me and other high-achieving moms who get exactly what you're experiencing. Ask questions, get personalized guidance, feel less alone.

  • A SMALL SUPPORTIVE community

    Limited to just 10 women to ensure you receive personalized attention and build meaningful connections.

  • lifetime access

    Because motherhood continues to evolve, and you may need to revisit these tools as new challenges arise.

  • This isn't just information. It's transformation. A complete reset of how you experience motherhood.

this is your permission slip:

RECALIBRATE™ is for you if:

You're tired of feeling like you're constantly falling short in motherhood

  • You've succeeded in other areas of life but find motherhood uniquely challenging

  • You recognize your perfectionism is making motherhood harder, not better

  • You're ready to experience genuine confidence instead of constant doubt

this is not for you if:

You're looking for specific parenting techniques rather than a mindset shift

  • You need clinical therapy for trauma or severe mental health concerns

  • You're unwilling to question the standards you've been holding yourself to

  • You believe there's one "right way" to parent that works for all children

✺ common questions, straight answers ✺

  • Absolutely not. This is about having the right standards, not lower ones. Many women find they actually raise their standards in areas that truly matter once they stop exhausting themselves with standards that don't.

  • While live participation is ideal, all calls are recorded. You can submit questions in advance, and I'll address them during the call so you get your answer when you watch the recording.

  • Therapy typically explores your past in depth. RECALIBRATE™ efficiently identifies patterns that no longer serve you, then spends most of our time building new approaches for the future. It's forward-focused coaching with psychological depth.

  • I've designed this specifically for busy mothers: 15-minute videos, 60-minute group calls, and about 30 minutes of implementation work weekly. The program is an investment that saves you time in the long run by eliminating hours of self-doubt and research.

  • RECALIBRATE™ doesn't address specific parenting techniques for particular challenges. However, many women find that once they reduce the perfectionist pressure, they become much clearer about what approaches actually work for their unique child.

  • Most programs give you more things to master. RECALIBRATE™ addresses the root cause of your struggle – the perfectionism making motherhood feel impossible – rather than adding to your mental load.

From One Perfectionist to Another

I know you're still wondering if this will really work for you.

I get it. You've tried so many things. You've read the books. You've taken the courses. You've done the research. And you're still going to bed each night feeling like you're failing.

Here's what I know for certain: continuing to approach motherhood with the same perfectionist mindset will keep producing the same painful results.

Your desire for a different experience isn't asking too much. It's not selfish. It's not a luxury.

It's essential – for you AND your children.

Because here's the truth: your kids don't need a perfect mother. They need a mother who's present. Who's confident in her decisions. Who models self-compassion instead of self-criticism.

They need YOU – freed from the prison of perfectionism.

The mother you want to be is already inside you. She's just buried under impossible expectations.

RECALIBRATE™ is your way out of the perfectionism trap that's stealing your joy in motherhood.

I've been where you are. I've found the way through. And I can guide you there too.

Are you ready?

Join RECALIBRATE™ Now

Program begins: [Launch Date]

Don't miss this opportunity to transform your experience of motherhood from constant inadequacy to genuine confidence.

[Secure Your Spot Now]

Only 10 spots available for this intimate group experience

"Perfectionism is killing your motherhood experience. But there is a (M)other Way, and it's where 'good enough' is more than perfect."